Amy is Gone Girl, who is gone, and it looks like Nick killed her. But then Amy decides she wants to be Back Girl instead and comes back.

Young "artists" live in an apartment, but doesn't want to pay rent because they're artists and that's why. Also they have AIDS.

The movie provides surprisingly few fiddlers on roofs, but jews are getting along with the Russians, until they don't anymore.

It is revealed that Kathy sings the voice-over for Lina.

Mary Poppins is a witch who, in absence of a broom or other cleaning utensils, flies around with an umbrella and is a nanny. She decides ...

Henry Higgins is an english professor, and Eliza Doolittle decides it would be "loverly" to learn to speak. Henry tutors her, and after E...

Satine is a prostitute, and the poor writer Christian falls in love with her. However, it's apparently complicated being poor and in a re...

Leslie dies and it'll tear your heart out

Sandy is a nice and proper girl, but she decides to change herself and go bad to get with Danny.

Sally gets pregnant but ultimately decides not to keep it.

The enemy are at the gate, but fuck that because there's a hot chick in the army and it turns into a love triangle. But Vassili kills the...

Nina has split personality disorder and is made to play both white and black swan in Swan Lake. Nina struggles, then does drugs, and then...

Lars buys a sex doll to be his girlfriend and imagines it's alive, but no funny business! When Lars wants to be with Margo instead, the d...

Evey blows up V and parliament, and it's pretty epic.

It's Alberts horse, and the military steals it! But they are reunited in the end!

It takes the full two hour runtime, but Novalee and Forney finally get together in the end.

Alan Turing cracks Enigma in the end, and lays the foundation for modern computers. #TrueStory

John Coffey is black, so he must be guilty of killing children, and he is executed in the end.

Patrick Bateman kills a lot of people, but it turns out it was all just in his mind. He's also turned on by business cards.

P.T. barnum invents the circus, but it's in a building. The building burns, so he changes the location to a tent and everyone thinks it's...

Allie (old) remembers Noah (old) for a brief moment in the end. Then they die together in their sleep and it's sad but also very romantic.

Petyr is burned in the sun, Stu is killed by werewolves and so he turns into a werewolf, in the end vampires and werewolves can be friend...

Riddick kills the necromonger leader and then becomes the necromonger leader.

Morale of the story: "Always bring a nuke to a field trip." You never know when you need to blow up an alien overlord.

On a mission to save the human race, one of the astronauts chosen is a psycho, no screening was apparently required. But they do actually...

The french revolution happens (not that one, the other one that nobody knows about) and just about everybody dies.

Billy is allowed to go back, and he gets to meet his daughter and tell Julie he loves her. Also, to the Liverpool fans: "You'll Never ...

Eli is blind, and the book is a bible written in braille.

Gabriel is the mastermind of the anti-christ plot. John sacrifices himself to summon satan, who prevents the coming of the anti-christ.

Kim shoots herself so Chris is forced to take Tam back to the USA, and she dies in Chris' arms. It's also very improbable that The Engine...

Annie is permanently adopted by Daddy Warbucks

Turns out "Orion's belt" is the cat's neck belt.

The dog dies. The crime syndicate dies too. "Eye for an eye."

Sir Patrick is Ares. Steve dies saving the world. Diana destroys Ares.

After 12 years, Solomon is saved by the actions of a nice canadian.

Hank is just mentally ill, and he hangs out in a forrest that's 5 minutes away from civilization

Jerry is tagged in the end

McCall kills the russian boss man in the end

Worryfree are turning workers into horse people, with horse cocks

Turns out Drew was the bad guy all along, and he faked his initial death, trying to sell a program to monitor all internet traffic.